Lost. And (not yet) Found.

I did not attend burning man this year.  I only did attend in 2008, 2009, and 2010 (Suzy’s first year was my last) though it stays heavily part of my general sense of life. Though I miss going, it seems the … universe?  circumstance?  finances?  whatever! prevent it, that or, you know – I just don’t go.

However, one think I love are the regular Jackrabbit Speaks emails that come and detail all the pre and post tidbits of the event.  I love the post-event email that comes with a link to all the lost shit from the event including several random photos to help identify lost cameras.   I get to spend a few moments looking at other burner’s weddings, parties, pets, and of course the few photos captured at the start of the event before you LOST YOUR CAMERA!

Check out the link by clicking on these random strangers who hopefully will find their camera.

Capture

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Food. We know nothing. Eat color.

NYTIMES:

Unexpected Honey Study Shows Woes of Nutrition Research

Nutrition research today sounds like cancer research decades ago, before researchers had the tools to understand the molecular and cellular triggers and switches that promote or curb cancerous growth.

Nutrition is ultimately a complex interaction with our evolutionary microbiome, which in turn drives much of our immune and stress response and body mass. Beyond this tantalizing glimpse we rarely go, because the big research dollars flow from pharmaceuticals, expensive medical treatments like cardiology, agribusiness and food processors, and not from fresh, minimally processed food.

So don’t hold your breath on big nutrition breakthroughs, but do make sure your grocery cart has more colorful food than colorful packaging.

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Portland. Fall, 2015

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I Am Here.

And this blog can be managed by an App now.  There has been a creation of Apps since I used this frequently.  Don’t be discouraged, as I am entirely inspired.

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yesterday is gone

Yesterday’s gone- though, we do get to keep the lessons: 

In the recesses of a linty pocket, or upon our heart

(held precious within a gilded locket)

No more fingers in the sockets”; You tell yourself. And I tell myself. 

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And do we remember until our judgement lapses, or until we just crave some little fun?

Do we remember until we choose not to, or is there a sometimes time limit on what we learn in life?

Some days feel like strong lessons in the making.

Others make me laugh at myself and think ‘I really, REALLY must have learned this one before!’.

Off into this tonight, preparing for the next yesterday.

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coats and scissors

i was blessed with warm SF weather for awhile. it turned cold. i pretended i had moved here with a coat, but i really only had a variety of sweatshirt like things that were neither flattering or warm. warm being the more important factor. 

last night a coat was purchased. my life here is being solidified, i think. i now have a coat, and, a variety of teas. i have made my hotel room very burning man like. teas and miso soup being made with the hot water from the electric kettle i requested. who knew burning man would be such good preparation for fancy hotel living? oh, i also have pickles. the small ones. but of course. 

the teas will travel with me in my backpack to my next destination.

(am i a new age gypsy? mayyyyybe. i think my dad thinks so. and, i trust his opinion on a lot of things.) 

i have learned that spending a lot of money once a month at the health food store is indeed a very very good life investment. buy the quality things you want. pay whatever they may cost. let all the other crap fall by the wayside, bc you have the very best of what you want. LIFE MANTRA time. 

the maid came in to straighten the room yesterday. i was in the bath. i said ‘come in, but, i am in the bath.’ i did not want to scare her. she apologized so many times for interrupting me. can a bath really be interrupted? i was still in the warm water. i was not composing the next great symphony. i do not think she affected anything. she said sorry in second language english. i tried to thank her a million times in nervous first world english. she thinks im spoiled, she thinks im all the people she hates. i want to make her tea but i am naked. i questioned if i should have let her come in at all, but, once she left i realized she found the scissors i had lost. they had been in the bed. close call. worth the awkward exchange after all. 

someone saying sorry to you while making your bed really really made me realize some situations should be completely different sometimes. she deserves flowers. i deserve no extra words said to me, except perhaps ‘good day to you’. but, alas, we live in a world of societal conventions. i hope she gets her flowers. 

i am off to santa cruz to go to a party at a railroad stop. yes, california is that good to me. 

good day to you, my loves. 

 

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suzy made it to 32, is living in a hotel, and has great views of a great city.

yes. i am now 32 years of age, currently living in a nice hotel, and i have great views of a great city. i would say this is a success. small or large or in between, a success nonetheless. 

i have been living in the W hotel in SF for a week. i wonder if my life can get much stranger. yes yes yes, i know, i deeply do know, that it can. it actually might be time for weirdness beautiful times in a new country soon. i feel like i am pushing the limits here a bit. 

i was awake for almost all of the hours on the day of my actual birthday, from the countdown to midnight, to the after hours of the small odd bday party i had at the hotel bar that led to jumping into the pool. after almost 24 hours awake, i slept most of the next day away. one on, one off. shift worker of the present moment. 

what will i do with 32? finally start a business? finally cut my hair? finally fall in a different kind of love? finally find a city to be a resident of? or, will i have less of a permanent address than ever? which, i currently do more than ever before. 

maybe i will make that huge book of e.e. cummings poems my bible, and go forth each day with a new scripture. 

“-tomorrow is our permanent address

and there they’ll scarcely find us(if they do,
we’ll move away still further:into now”

i am living with very few belongings right now, and a lot of options. not a bad way at all to start a new year of life. 

i will be kind to myself. I WILL be kind to myself. no matter how hard that is on some morning with the aftermath of the days prior all around me, or some nights when the sparks of my brain will not allow sleep, or some goddamn bright sunny afternoons when the sunshine doesnt know you want to weep. 

this will let me be kinder to others, but ive got that one pretty much down, with the exception of some few and far between people on sparse calendar days. maybe the universe will try to test me in 32 though. lets see what awaits. lets see if i will need to consult with monks. (btw, monks are finding me. once a week the past two weeks. they initiated conversation. i like the trend of MONKS IN MY LIFE.)

i will embrace challenges, and know that i CAN START, even when its scary to begin. i can fail, in front of everyone or just in front of myself and right dead center in that big spotlight i like to point at my mistakes, and still, life will go on. 

i will surround myself with people i love, with people who care, with people who inspire my soul, with openness to those i havent already allowed deep into my quirky molten middle. we will all save each other day by day, really. i am not an island, no matter how good the music in my headphones may be. 

i will look at the hard parts. i will cherish the good parts. i will make funny mantras and hang them on my walls, even when those walls are expensive hotel rooms. i will read more books. i will meander on facebook less. i will meander in the dark hallways of my brain less. i will make mistakes then turn the corner. none of this may happen, but as long as there is some I WILL and some DOING and WALKING TOWARDS what i want need desire, that is a start. maybe it IS ALL. at the least, IT IS. 

 

 

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