i want to keep getting better and better at telling people how i love them why i love them and WHY I LOVE

i am turning 31 soon. alex, i knew you when i was 21. i somewhat refused to celebrate in a huge way bc i DID not want to take a million shots and be all sick and silly as an american in london. and it seemed very inconsequential to be turning 21 in london, as we were allowed to drink as soon as we got there anyway. and i had been drinking in bars in the US with a fake ID ANYWAY. 

and so on. now 31. to bars – houseparties –  burningman – five star hotel rooms – clubs with no public signage – flasks – i do think my favorite drinks are at brunch- and back. ten years of being able to drink. it seems ive made it out mostly alive;) pat on back… 

soon to be 31… its all going to happen and it starts here! i want to never stop remembering what its like to be happy. 

i want a LOMO. i dont want to ever stop creating. i want to cut up almost all my clothes, except for the really really really really nice ones. cut and spray paint and all the rest. and mostly wear tee shirts everywhere in a sexy way. bc i am a lovely woman in my thirties, and i now finally understand this is what feels good to me. 

i want to travel somewhere huge soon where i dont know what most people are saying. i want to do this soon, bc it has been too long. and it makes me feel cultured and is a good conversation piece and frankly is the best use of money i have felt to date. 

i need to get a fulfilling job or class soon. i know that and im not in denial anymore. 

i want to exist in nature and where the weather is more like FALL and SPRING and hopefully rarely like summer summer or winter winter, although a few days of summer here and there is ok. a few days of winter, too. but i think as i get older i am going to prefer to travel to those seasons, or perhaps take a ski trip through them. 

i want to move a few more times and then have a very very permanent address that i am at at least most of the year where people know they can send mail to and i will one day get. this house will be so fantastically decorated it will be a dream and all friends of friends will tell friends to stop by while in the area. even if “the area” is a few interstates away. 

i want to discover more things about myself and the world that i love, and i want to keep getting better and better at telling people how i love them why i love them and WHY I LOVE> 

i love you alex. and all the rest of y’all <3! 

im not drunk. 

i think i just love the weather;) 

XOXOOXO

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About suzyloves

i am flowers on the side of the road. 'yes' and 'joy' are important to me. i may not re-read what i write, and i never won a spelling bee, but i do hope you enjoy. the world is getting larger, and i fear our 'human-ness' is growing smaller. this is my attempt to connect. i do love you and i do miss you, so this is my hand reaching out so we can all be love <3
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One Response to i want to keep getting better and better at telling people how i love them why i love them and WHY I LOVE

  1. alex r says:

    this is nice. i liked it. hope all’s well

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