We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.
where have i been- why havent i been blogging? i forgot what i write here and what i write on facebook. when will we just blink our eyes three times and poof- there is everything we have social-media’d lately? (that subconsciously came out bc i read today some japanese inventor said in 20 years we will put contact lenses in and blink and THAT will connect us to the internet!…) any way.
i made a pact with my therapist and more so with myself to stay in CA for the entire month of april… since i had not felt really settled and have been ALL>OVER>THE>PLACE since january. since december? since forever. i also made a pact to stop wearing all black. its been hit and miss with that, though i did buy a shirt covered in flowersssssss!!! very california. the nyc in me hated it. the hippie|nature|goddess liked it, though;)
so, here i have been, in CA these past weeks. of course as soon as i make that commitment i get an offer to be flown to south beach and also to visit new orleans. phew. but i was happy to stay. i need to form relationships and patterns and healthy habits if i want to stay here for any length of time.
i moved above the only bar in glen park. i LOVEEEE it. its a neighborhoody bar and locals come and they play great songs on the jukebox and people sing aloud and there is live music on sundays. i love the snippets of conversations i overhear. it brightens my day, to feel like im interacting with the city on a more intimate level. i love sf and all of her people. alex, you will have such a fun time down there while you are here!
i WISH you could be my date for my best friend from NJ’s wedding. i have no idea who to bring! you, a friend from LA, a boy from here i started dating not long enough ago to merit bringing, HEIDI, LEAH and so on are my only wishes for dates… blah. two friends from nyc too. jesse g. maybe maybe….:)
i told my friend i liked a guy, but that im scared to tell a soul about it because i am becoming the boy who cried wolf, and he said, no, you are the girl who cried boy.
ha/ugh. a pattern i want to need to, need to want to, stop. life is on its way to becoming more logical, more forgiving, more engaging to me. i can feel the shift. i have an alarm set on my phone three times a day that brings me back to awareness and mindfulness. they made me set it right then and there, in therapy, and i was thinking how silly it all is, all these little tricks. im knowingly playing tricks on myself! but they want us to becomes MASTERS of our own selves, our own minds, our own emotions. and the difference between amateurs and experts is that experts practice small skills over and over again until they have mastered them. small skills that take one to the next level. that is what my alarm tricking myself trick is helping me with… taking me to the next level of seeing where my mind is, my body is, my thoughts are, when the alarm goes off… and seeing if i am listening to my WISE MIND/intuition/pure self at these times when i check in.
what else has been going on? the normal chaos of parties and love and music and people and out and about and so on and on and on as always. in relation to my quote at the top of this entry, i am looking for things i feel healthy and excited about doing. i started making earrings and i love them. i want to buy more supplies and go full force. i want to CREATE. ive been having full on fantasies of how badly i want to go to art school… we will see if i decide to manifest that…:)
and in closing, watch this video about swap-economics. its inspiring, useful, and just plain great!
love love love to you ❤ cannot wait to see you and hug you a give you a fuzzy horned hat to wear. we need a photo project of that ❤