wandering, traveling, getting to the now. &, now: staying put

by suzy

i have been all over the place over, geographically and emotionally, this past month, but i have not been very focused or centered (no BIG surprise there, huh?).

in therapy today we learned these two items, in addition to many others, on the theme of *RADICAL ACCEPTANCE*

– Freedom from suffering requires ACCEPTANCE from deep within of what is. Let yourself go completely with what is. Let go of fighting reality.

and a personal favorite bullet point: -ACCEPTANCE is the only way out of Hell.

i want to accept life, my life, my shortcomings, my greatness, my inner love and outer being and all of it all of it all of it all of it. onlywayoutofhell. i dont like the word hell. only way to live in love love love and without any fear.


did i blog about sxsw yet? so much music, so much chaos, so much love. it was better than i could have hoped for, but then again, i hadnt hoped for much of anything.

here is my facebook update about it:
nights i slept in my amazing hotel room at the W in austin: maybe 1/3 of one single night my entire trip; times i lost my camera & somehow had it returned: 2x; miles walked: infinite; music, fun, old friends, new friends: unquestionably incalculable; (and only one bad hangover) = ♥ ! {SXSW FTW}
… other trip stats> REM having dinner at the table next to me: once; took my contacts out: never. 😉

& while that was fun! and nyc was fun!,
i really want to not leave sf for all of april.
april is kind of a boring month, i would have preferred it to be may, but alas i have cross country commitments in may. or maybe i should be more reasonable and say i am not going to leave california in april… not allowing myself to travel >anywhere< kinda freaks me out. one could say im running away (suzy stop running away), but one can also appreciate the love of travel. as paulo does, for example:

When you travel, you experience, in a very practical way,
the act of rebirth.
You confront completely new situations,
the day passes more slowly, and on most journeys you don't even understand
the language the people speak.
So you are like a child just out of the womb.
You begin to be more accessible to others
because they may be able to help you in difficult situations.
And you accept any small favour from the gods with great delight,
as if it were an episode you would remember for the rest of your life.
At the same time, since all things are new, you see only the beauty in them,
and you feel happy to be alive.
That's why a religious pilgrimage has always been one of the most objective ways of achieving insight. The word peccadillo which means 'small sin' comes from pecus, which means 'detective foot', a foot that is incapable of walking a road.
The way to correct the peccadillo is always to walk forward,
adapting oneself to new situations and receiving in return
all of thousands of blessings
that life generously offers
to those who seek them.
– Paulo Coelho

now: i need to learn to walk forward, but still stay in a comfortable place… not seeking out the new and thrilling all the time. here and now can be new and thrilling if i want it and let it. ❤

About suzyloves

i am flowers on the side of the road. 'yes' and 'joy' are important to me. i may not re-read what i write, and i never won a spelling bee, but i do hope you enjoy. the world is getting larger, and i fear our 'human-ness' is growing smaller. this is my attempt to connect. i do love you and i do miss you, so this is my hand reaching out so we can all be love <3
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