(for a, from s)
The Laughing Heart; Charles Bukowski
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods offer you chances.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
i hope you love that as much as i do, alex. and world:D
small notes: i have only been at my parents house for two days after a week in nyc, and am almost at my breaking point already. but totally being adult and holding my shit together. and flying home (‘home?’) (back?), to SF on mon., so, really, all is well.
*actually on that note, i had a really profound experience with my mom. she is always wondering when i will be in, what will happen if my plane is delayed, and so on. the types of things people who travel a lot just cant think about, bc the possibilites of number of things that can go wrong would just drive a person nuts. and when i ended up in NJ instead of staying in NYC as planned the day i landed on the east coast, i said ‘thanks for being so flexible and coming to pick me up (from the bus i took to NJ).’ and she said ‘i have learned not to worry about you and not to expect you in at a certain time. when you get here, you get here.’ HUGE for her. and her and my relationship. maybe my meditation is making me calmer and having these long-reaching affects! or maybe my crazed life was just driving her mad and she was sick of it…:)
*i am home, er, in (?), SF for 2 mere days then i fly to austin for sxsw! yippee.
*home is where the heart is.
*i am back in SF the night you get there, yay. sleep in sheenas bed (david’s bed?) mine is small. but please please sleep over. i would LOVEEEE to have a party that night!
*the gods wait to delight in you.
*i had a thrift store experience that changed my life today. bought many belts that i am going to obsess over and adore for the rest of my days. and they will force me to keep a 25/26 inch waist for as long as possible;)
*love love love love love love to you all. meditating on japan. sending love to all and trying to be thankful for what i have and somehow alleviate suffering in my own sphere, when possible<3