this first blog in a very long time starts with a VERY BIG LARGE SIGH.
like the biggest one you can imagine.
anyway, you and most people close to me know what, i would once again call, “the shitshow” of my life (all our lives) the past few months have been for me.
death, funerals, family, sickness, hospitals, anxiety, jobs, what-to-do-with-my-life questions, loss, laughter, tears, change, change, death, life, who-am-i questions, friends, oddity,…….. i guess that can sum up my past little while here. did i do it justice? does everyone understand at least a little of my concept there?
i will probably, as i get back into writing on here, have more to say and idealize or put into words. right now, i’m just trying to feel myself actually put substance out into the universe, and to you, suzy, and to those that bother to check out our wee site here. (i know there are a new one or 2… score!)
i’m also slowly and unsurely working on just a general, personal, journal entry/short story maybe/whatever thing about the loss of my father last month and what going forward is going to be like. but that is slow coming (the story or reality ?- i’m not sure. probably, both.)
meanwhile. things have been stressful and top it off i have to go to a job everyday and be THAT GUY. not that fun for me. and to add to that, it gets dark in oregon in december around 4 pm. and also, it rains. often. in the dark.
all this shit kinda makes my tummy hurt.
but believe me, some good things have been happening too.
tomorrow i’m FINALLY returning to an acupuncture session …. with (this is fun to say:), “my acupuncturist, MOSES”.
what a great name for an acupuncturist. (he’s cute, too) that is stress relieving in all ways!
the next story is that its a gray fucking tuesday afternoon, i dont have to work and im making chile.. veggie and with textured veggie protien, which i’ve never used. it looks good. like there could be a meat in there, but there isnt. (i have been avoiding meat since my belly is already stressed from, well… the stress.)
i also made an attempt to copy this recipe from the health food stores prepared food section. they call it “fall harvest slaw”… the ingredients listed are:
red cabbage, kale, carrots, turnip, fennel. dressed in oil, apple cider vin, mustard, fennel seed, sugar, salt and pepper. i added lemon. a little mayo.
its tasty stuff……
i have jazz music playing.
last week my room mates and i went to ikea… somehow i blew many dollars on frames and candles and plants. i needed new life in my house!
candles actually warm the house if you light enough. its almost like free heat. then again, thats what fire is.
and not, after some chile making and wine sipping, i’m working on a new wall decor in my living room. mostly framed pictures of my now deceased photographer father. or photos OF him. or pics i had printed from life, burning man, etc. its a fun project and i get to use a hammer!
(if i had a hammer.)
your last blog is great. i’m curious and fascinated to hear of your missing new york city and some dislike of san francisco. such is life. funny how it all works, huh.
OK . SIGH.