the smell of beer and summer and things and things (s)

i have never liked beer much. which is why i have been trying to drink it more, over the last few years. so i dont overdrink. because i find it generally boring and bloatly. a slow-going way to get drunk. i like quick and loose drunk. beer is just kinda of odd-tasting water. i like some better than others, sure. but overall liquor or wines have a much dearer place in my heart. (and have therefore have a much larger impact on my liver!)

there is something else i do like about beer, however, besides the lesser frequency with which it makes me black out and or take cabs to places i probably shouldnt…

i just opened a red stripe in my room. opened two at once, actually -ANYway– and what i like…

i like that the smell of beer, like a really normal bottled beer, reminds me of childhood and summer. that probably sounds odd, but my parents were not big drinkers, which is why i probably remember this one incident so clearly…

they had lots of company over, and everyone was lounging in the backyard on the deck and at the picnic table. we had picked fresh blueberries off the bushes that were all over the backyard when i was young, and everyone was laughing and talking and it was such a perfect summer evening, right after dinner probably. most of the adults were drinking beer, and my dad let me try some. it was probably something crappy like coors. miller. something american and cheap. my dad let me try some, and i thought it was gross, so sour like it had gone bad, but i was pleased, oh really just pleased with myself for being let into the adult circle for a moment in time. so i said something dear like -thanks but no thanks- and everyone adored me as they adored doing and as i adored letting them do.

blueberries eaten out of a washed and reused cool (kool?) whip container, and cheap beer and adoration.
beer and summer and running through tall grass in the backyard.
where are the replacements for this in a city? where are the commonalities in my adult life? im still seeking them all out.

About suzyloves

i am flowers on the side of the road. 'yes' and 'joy' are important to me. i may not re-read what i write, and i never won a spelling bee, but i do hope you enjoy. the world is getting larger, and i fear our 'human-ness' is growing smaller. this is my attempt to connect. i do love you and i do miss you, so this is my hand reaching out so we can all be love <3
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