happy halloween texts from last night (a)

(740)the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.

(914)I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man

(703)I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.

(860)I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen

(407)i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

(321)Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It’s going to be a good day.

(410)i can’t wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.

(630)i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.

(858)I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume

(570)so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn’t even go to a halloween party.

(425)Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.

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