oh alex. good lord, our lives will be as opposite as possible the next few days! you will be having about 9 trillion times more fun than me. ughhh not fair, but, life is fair in that it is never fair:)
live soul music in brooklyn tonight. i havent been blogging– what have i been doing??? hmmmm
getting increasingly annoyed at the existence of my office job, totally loving any and all side jobs!, being done with weddings for awhile after i got trashed at the final summer one this past weekend. im going to buy lottery tix, its 333 million and i just love that number. i dont know if i ever bought lottery tickets except in that bar in portland the last night, where i was SURE we would WIN bc we were full of so much LOVE for each other.
reading ‘fear of flying’, way too late in life, but im sure, actually, at just the right time.
excerpt i adore:
adrian had been taught existentialism in the course of one week in paris by martine, the french actress who’d been in a bin.
“thats fast,” i said. “existentialism made simple. sort of like the souped-up berlitz course. how’d she manage it?”
he described how he’d gone to paris to see her and martine had surprised him by metting him at orly with two friends: louise and peirre. they were to spend the whole week together, never be apart, tell each other everything, fuck each other in all possible combinations, and never make any “silly moral excuses”.
“whenever i spoke of my patients or my children or my girlfriend at home, she said: ‘of no interest.’
“whenever i protested about needing to work, needing to earn a living, needing to sleep, needing to escape from the intensity of the experience, she said: ‘of no interest.’ none of the usual excuses held. actually, it was terrifying at first.”
“sounds fantastic. and all in the name of freedom.”
“well, i see your point, but it wasn’t fantastic because actually her idea was that you had to stretch the boundaries of what you could endure. you had to go to the bottom of your experience even if the bottom turned out to be terror. martine had been mad. she had been hospitalized and she came through it herself with all sorts of new illuminations. she put herself back together again and was much stronger than before. and that’s what the week did for me. i had to cope with the terrifying feeling of having no plans, not knowing where we were going next, having no privacy at all, being dependent on three other people all the time. it revived all sorts of childhood problems for me. and the sex- the sex was terrifying at first. fucking in groups is harder than you think. you have to confront your own homosexuality. it was illuminating, i think.”
i LOVE the ‘no interest’. part. be here here. what time is it? NOW!~
im eating a mantao sandwich [steamed chinese bread from northern china] with shiitake. and kimchi, and drinking sapporo, and im in my glory and i leave you with this link. happy friday night, loves and loves of loves!