i FUCKING fainted getting off the subway on the way to work yesterday. worst.day.ever. is not even putting it in words.
it was so scary, and i felt so vulnerable, and now i am semi-scared to take the subway/leave my apartment by myself/ do normal things. boohoo.
that was yesterday. i went to the doctor. he said i am overstressed, obv. not sleeping enough, or relaxing enough, or resting myself. and he thinks i may be anemic. which i have been through before with doctors. but still, he wants to check. blood tests today, more soon./… a series of doctors appointments were scheduled. lets see. i feel like if i found out i had something horrible wrong with me that would kick start me to start doing a million more things with my life. how bad is that! why couldnt i do them without finding out my life had a sooner expiry date! dont we all know our time is limited …
another wedding this weekend, for a high school friend. and then alex, maybe your mother’s backyard, or, maybe passing out on the beach, depending on how i feel.
i am vowing to take things so easy for the next few weeks. i am going to paint some pictures.
love, to myself. and love, to ya’ll<3