wanting what you cannot have. (from suzy)

thank god this blog still exists. i got your email, and i was not in the state to blog at all this entire weekend, but i was so sad to get your email, and a few from friends too, saying the blog wasnt working. (people did notice!, fyi…) my mind went racing. what will i do without this blog? how will we ever get back all the things we said to each other, to ourselves, to the world?

i am not thankful for this on a day to day basis. but to not be able to have it, mentally it was all i wanted. what is that about people? we talk about it all the time with sexual things. ‘the chase.’ how if one person holds back a little then they are more wanted by the other person. why do we want what we cannot have? any way, i am glad to have this blog back.

i think i had one of the better friday nights in all of the friday nights that were happening all over the planet. i went to philly and did twelve thousand things. it started with good food and friends as always, and then an opening at a DIY-ish clothing store in northern liberties with free vodka and pineapple juice, and that sort of set the tone for the night. it was an adventure with lots of art openings, concerts, bars, new friends, parties, and finally falling asleep in a house someone was trying to sell that had no furniture what so ever in it. ha. and i was in town for a bachlorette party, and this was the night before any of that even happened!

i am now at my parents house in nj. its 6 am. i have a modeling job in philly early today, then, back to nyc. i will book a ticket to portland today. ive booked a bunch of gigs, so i may stay long like leah.

About suzyloves

i am flowers on the side of the road. 'yes' and 'joy' are important to me. i may not re-read what i write, and i never won a spelling bee, but i do hope you enjoy. the world is getting larger, and i fear our 'human-ness' is growing smaller. this is my attempt to connect. i do love you and i do miss you, so this is my hand reaching out so we can all be love <3
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