little lists never hurt a soul {love suzy}

jeans with one rip in the knee, right on the knee. right on the left knee.
someone did this before me. i rarely move enough or weigh enough or im not sure what causes rips in pants but i am never able to do it to my own clothes.
these jeans came from a big clothing swap, where everyone trades what they brought.
and leaves with what they got.
____
i buy the same crackers at the shitty supermarket across the street almost each time i go there.
they are boring. kashi original 7 grain.
they taste good, but i mean, crackers are boring.
but, i keep buying the things.
when, will i learn?
____
diet cherry coke and makers mark does, however, make everything taste better.
and it makes my day better.
i had restless sleep at a friends last night. i also pounded guinesses at a hipster bar in williamsburg.
i felt a tiny bit like crap and i craved this drink all day.
i finally made it and i do, yes, feel better.
____
friday night doesnt mean a goddamn thing to me anymore.
i dont think my 7th grade self would have ever, ever, believed that could happen to her.
(to me.)
/i prefer wednesday nights. thursday nights. sunday night. monday nights.
fridays are crowded. a bit lame. a bit expectation laden.
if, you ask me.
___
i am old enough that i have to plan any upcoming travel around peoples wedding plans.
i dont think my 7th grade self would have understood how annoying yet semi-heartwarming yet surreal-ly ADULT that makes a person feel.
and i wonder what my 35 year old self will do with all the great yet unnecessary dresses that were bought for the occasions.
____
alex, you mean a lot to me.
you are something steady in an unpredictable life.
you are, and, this blog is. this blog is like a friend to me, in itself.
weird. great.
___
and im not at all even drunk.
so its sober truthful.
which isnt any better/worse than drunk truthful.
but i still thought i would let you know, what exact strain of truth-telling this breed was.
___
we are both going to do so many things that we have not even really sat down and thought about yet.
houses, babies, careers, bad things, good things, sudden things, european things (what does that mean!), they are all going to happen, sooner than later.
i hope we can be pretty happy about all of it.
i hope we remain in control of our choices, our lives, our happiness.
it a a habit that has to be honed.
it does not just happen to work out well. it needs direction and love.
i think so.
___
i miss philadelphia and i am officially mentally over new york city.
though it will always remain romantic and quite ok of a city to me.
somewhere warm really has to be next, though.
i have tortured myself long enough, with humid summers and painful winters.
san diego is so yuppie but ryan can get a job there.
we are talking about there. and i plan to be a semi-hermit there, of course, but i think i will also like some of the people there.
that will be pleasant. dont you think. maybe.
___
oh, how did i forget to mention, after the depressing downer of a food statement about the crackers.
i also bought cashews, glazed with a subtle vanilla and pomegranate coating.
holy wow. yes, its true.
try to get some for yourself! you will be blissful for a good while.
___
enough about food.
enough about drink and lusting after moving.
i am planning to go do great things with my life.
i have to go before its too late.
even though we all have all the time in the world,
it is later than we think.
(i want to start reading zen things all the time again, like i used to.)
(though, that was not the great things i was mentioning.)

farewell, until saturday. a day i feel more at ease with.

About suzyloves

i am flowers on the side of the road. 'yes' and 'joy' are important to me. i may not re-read what i write, and i never won a spelling bee, but i do hope you enjoy. the world is getting larger, and i fear our 'human-ness' is growing smaller. this is my attempt to connect. i do love you and i do miss you, so this is my hand reaching out so we can all be love <3
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