i feel like its the new year

but its actually just september!

but september is like a new year in many ways- no? school starting, fall starting, summer ending, those are the same things actually, erm,,, new school shoes! oh thats the same as the first… well, anyway. it feels sort of like a new year to me. my head was very foggy– and i mean very VERY VERY foggy, because i am often a foggy brained girl, and sometimes it doesnt bother me, and lately, it was bothering me so bad i said ‘dear self: am i going crazy? am i doing ok? should i medicate like i know may help me? should i go to consuling, change some habits?’ and on and on.

and i was supposed to… do a lot of things. but none of those things, really. just sitting down and coming to terms with myself. at times, i find i am so busy coming to terms with so many other people’s and situations’ terms, that i forgo and forget about MY terms. and so i rewrote the contract.

and now, i know that sometimes it is other people’s influence and actions that is just TOO much for me to take sometimes. sometimes it is just too much at once, when it all happens at once. sorry, i know, so this doesnt make sense. but its verbal tap dance ballet that makes sense to me. i understand that trying to fit into a situation that i will never feel ok in is one i should leave.

and i WENT.

gone. good.

happy new year.

and alex, return with stories and yourself please.

and, i will blog about greece soon ; ) beta late than neva

greek cities/ blurred and saved for us

greek cities/ blurred and saved for us

About suzyloves

i am flowers on the side of the road. 'yes' and 'joy' are important to me. i may not re-read what i write, and i never won a spelling bee, but i do hope you enjoy. the world is getting larger, and i fear our 'human-ness' is growing smaller. this is my attempt to connect. i do love you and i do miss you, so this is my hand reaching out so we can all be love <3
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One Response to i feel like its the new year

  1. Ryan says:

    When you said “Beta late than Neva” is that like Alpha Beta Gamma Delta Epsilon? Though I am not familiar with this “Neva”……

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