give me heart. (later: little boxes)

i wrote that because i just heard the coldplay song and the words go: give me heart, don’t me soul….     open up your eyes.

how does one convey a real honest virtual equivelent of a big sigh/gasp/oy/phew.  ?   big breath in and voiced breath out.  even yogis do it as a sign of bringing in the new and pushing out the old/bad/whatever.   do it with me now.  deep nasal inhale and LOUD spoken exhale.  its almost like that after orgasm sound.   how come that is the only accepted time to do it?  DO IT.

BEAUTIFUL!   makes me feel better already!

HI S!  Have i already, long time ago mentioned that the letter that comes after y in the alphabet is broken in my laptop.  which i was rarely using anyway until i got this new fun unemployed position out here in la. (hear a sarcastic: ha ha) but now, this computer being my one and only .. yes, folks, i’m living life without the letter that comes after y. the last letter in the alphabet.   AND how appropriate IS IT that of all the keys to break first on a 3 year old laptop, the first one is THAT ONE.  (now granted, in a real emergency i can actually find that letter somewhere and copy and past it.  3 keystrokes instead of one to make that letter.  but, do i really need it? i have just converted myself to the user of the 25 letter alphabet.  a world where the only way to refer to that letter is to call it “the one that used to come after y”. )   aw, sad a little.



Ok, You are correct. I am having a ridiculous afternoon in my house alone.   And is that anything new, anyway? I’m also listening to cheesy white boy rock balads as I tool around the place.  And Los Angeles has started to do that thing that is so weird in the “winter” when you think its cold all the time but you remember that its only inside. During the “winter” months in LA, its always nicer outside in the sun then inside the dark house.

(hours later).   yes I’m writing from home so I am able to get up and change the laundry and maybe eat a snack and clean my room and make a phone call and all that stuff that happens, you know, in between everything else.  or It is everything else?.  Both.      (deep breath. sigh.)

I have a question, how did We get to be here?.  I don’t really want an answer, I’m just saying I think about it now and then.  Sometimes I walk from one room to the other, just like any other time and somehow forget EVERYTHING.  Forget why I walked in that direction.  After I ask, “Why am I in this room?” I’m forget to even think about it and my mind wonders into some big large “Why am I even here at ALL?”  Oh man, its annoying. HAHA.

Well I can’t just keep sitting here and writing random paragraphs of my thoughts.  So, I’m ganna figure out a way to end this.  And so the music is still on (don’t you love how when you pick something from iTunes that hours later the music is still on but its just playing alphabetically!) And I am going to eat something and maybe watch this show, Weeds, that I have on DVD that is pretty good.  At least I love the opening credits.


Ah, little boxes.

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