its hard sometimes in my (hi suzy)

simple day to calm down/come down/unwind. whatever.
does anyone,,,, everyone experience this.
so worked up on all and all and then its time, im spent, 12 hours or whatever later, i’m thinking… i’ve been pacing my own house for hours now after pacing work all day. pacing and pacing. starting something, and finishing something else and a different room.
(of my house and mind)

all of a sudden, its like the house did it to me.
i was going in circles as the sun goes down. the light coming from the windows turns
from yellow to orange to blue to dark. dark.
my circles are slowing, still gray.
(its these time changes. its just a fuck up for all)
before i could breathe. john coltrane was playing so soothingly all over the house.
a glass had been poured for me. and im cross legged with book and wine (and this quick note to you, direct from my large brown couch).
and it was night

some adjustments ot the lighting. (well it is night now)
and turn the music up.

and serene.

and sigh.

and .

and. here i am.. .

how nice.

i can cool down now, and relax.

this always happens right around the time you think all the plans you had this eve but that certain time somehow comes around; you realize: none of those things are going to happen now, i’m just where i am for the night. and your everythign BUT NOT GLAD.

and the calm brings a smile.

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