everyone, FUCKING DAY 7

… today is one full week since i have eaten. you’d think i was on some kind of protest or soemthing.. starving myself to save a tree in northern california or the like. but not really, im just trying to save ME.

i feel so good, as amazing as all week. i never felt any weaker, or tired… all week pretty steady. I JUST WANT FUCKING CHIPS.

so the 10 day cleanse, i will be altering a wee. sunday would be the 10th day, but i figure.. what the difference between 9 or 10 whole days without food, so i will treat sunday, like the 11th day and start drinking juice and some fresh made veggie broth, then some salad and fruit on monday. its mainly cause i can’t go too much longer in my food filled production office just sipping juice.

last night we shot a show, and when we film there is food out the butt. everywhere. pizza. fresh veggies, sushi, guac. my one friend kept coming up and i was smelling her breath. i was thinking,, “mmm you ate doritos” or “mmm is that chocolate cake i can smell”… i very much have enjoyed looking at and sniffing food. it makes me crave, but id rather that then run and ignore it. i walk up to the big layout and lean real close into the guacamole and SMELLLLL it deep down enought hat ic an taste it.

I MISS FOOD. 2 more days!

thats what is pretty much consuming my life, suzanne. sorry you are so busy. tell me in a nutshell why.. i mean people always claim to be busy, so if you don’t say THIS is why, then its very much a boring statement.

OH OH. i read somewhere in something, i have no idea where, about the wonder and positive energy that comes from contacting some old person from the past ie. a teacher, or mentor, etc.. and thanking them and telling them that even if they don’t remember you, you remember them and loved them in your life.
so far i have written to a temple professor that i do vividly rememeber helping me through – making a very mediocore education at leats a little lively.

hope ny is well.
did i tell you that my huge interest in living in brooklyn went by the wayide upon landing in the bay area. I LOVE CALIFORNIA. you LOVE NY. lets call the whole thing off!

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