thanksgiving feels like a pantomined movie in some ways.
eat. laugh big wide open laughs. smile.
but that sounds pessesmitic, doesnt it? and thanksgiving was actually raelly nice, wasnt it?
holidays mean something so different. no longer an angsty teen. now an almost adult with basically the most interesting stories of the table. a real member of teh adult table with something to bring to the table.
im home home home, and though i know im never far from here, like you xander with a new climate and a new name even, im far enough from LIVING here that it feels like a big get away while i am here. h-o-m-e. i love love love it here. comfort means this. suburban new jersey. love and food and whatever i want, on demand. childhood friend who knows and loves, or at least tolerates, everything about me? coming right up! mom i need warmer socks! im a bad packer! here you go honey. daddddd i lost the batteries to the camera again, those good rechargable ones. oh sweetie you are so cutely absent minded, try to hold on to these. in new york, lost while the N train changes to a C for no aparent reason. ‘;can someone tell me where they think this might go?’ SILENCE. ‘um, is this headed to coney island or queens?’ ‘GET A MAP.’ oh family why have i left you for this land of new and scary? but but, we all know why.
because i must.
because i am more than a girl from nj. i dont even associate myself with that unless im here.
and bc there is a lot out there to do and see. and mostly bc maybe i would never have known how much my family loved me and how good my upbringing was for me if i never left. and that is hugely important.
love to you all this holiday weekend. and may god bring you good sales : )