im at WORK right NOW
but we just had a fun event with an open bar.
makes it worth it.
sortaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

btw, walking down the street near my office today, and a crazy lady kept saying ‘TIME Time TIME is of the ESSENCE. TIMEEEE TIMEEE TIMEEE’ like a Reverend or something. i liked it. enough. it applied both to my day and my life.

eh, playing with the camera at a late hour.  

this was in a bar in portland called zack’s shack.  i asked about where it came from and they said, “from zack.”

i just wanted to give a quick life update.
i just moved, as you know, and am having the busiest week imaginable at work. events all week.
we had a panal discussion last night at the new york public library with a bunch of all stars, including the ceo of google. i shook his hand and tried my best to get him to come to the private party afterwards, but he politely declined. (he was stuck on a plane for hours before getting to us.)

he was smart and very kind.

i will write more later (as always). <3

((((s- i just stumbled amidst my old word.doc areas and found this 3 pager that you and i wrote back and forth just post bush won in 04.  funny, nearly 5 years later, oh how things have changed – well a tiny bit, but. well. ))))  ((((i’m not pasting the entire thing, just the good and short and sweet parts.  so it might seem pretty discombobulated as a structure.))))))

President BOOOSH and his pals got the election, perhaps not fairly, but we’ll never know and so evil looms again; a 2nd term for republicans. We miss when we didn’t know or care to know what any of this all meant. 

And there is a small side that says its ALL FUCKED, ALWAYS WAS (how did the slaves feel about their reality?). Corporate and government ties, money. oil corruption, halliburton, religious right winged puritans.  Conspiracy since forever.  The RICH V THE POOR, tonight at 8pm and so on. 

Then again, there is a world that can, almost easily, exist. We just forget it’s possible. 

 Just overcome that barrier that an abundance of choices creates, leaving us feeling so un-free:  (Here, is a great computer, where you can create anything, but it is the not the best technology we have, it’s just enough to keep you busy. here, is a cell phone. talk all day about where you are going all night. but don’t talk of anything serious. just plans to stay too busy to DO anything. here, is a carmel latte. it’s sinfully good, it will slowly kill you, & it’s way overpriced.  here, is a college education. which everyone says you need. but no one knows if it will get you anywhere, produced by the some of the same people who love the American “way” and make fine money off it.  Actually, college helpfully distracts millions of twentysomethings with no direction, who might do something extreme if not occupied.)

We have it sometimes bad (more scary then anything), and yet some have it horribly, awfully, worse than this.  

So we try to remain happy with what we have. Travel within this beautiful country and most of this world (with expensive skies!).  Manage our daily lives as we please, meet and love anyone we want (well sorta).

We can each live a good life.  One with beliefs. Yes, it is a complicated system, but we have a place in it and can make our own decision to do good or bad every moment of every day.  Make love or make shit.  We have instincts like every other creature alive.  Do what you’d like to do and have whatever you want to have without hurting anyone on the way to it.  It isn’t hard.  

While “they” do their thing with money and power and connections with the other powerful kids on the playground, we do our thing of love and life and learning and enjoying that fact that the government doesn’t live in this wonderful reality of REAL life anyway. 

Turn everything off and sit in the sunshine for a while, each day is a new change at eternity. 

WHAT IS THIS A PHOTO OF?  WELL, IT IS MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME STREWN ON THE FLOOR, BUT WITH AN ADDED CAT ON THE HAT.

AND HERE ARE 2 CATS HAVING LUNCH.

AND THIS IS A WHILE BACK, BUT S PRETTY.  BAKED TOFU WITH CARAMELIZED BRUSSELL SPROUTS, ONION, PECANS, AND APPLE.   WONDERFUL.  SOMEONE SHOULD PAY ME TO DO THIS. 

(740): the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.

(914): I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man

(703): I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.

(860): I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen

(407): i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

(321): Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It’s going to be a good day.

(410): i can’t wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.

(630): i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.

(858): I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume

(570): so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn’t even go to a halloween party.

(425): Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.

i am just glad to see that this comical personal ad is still around on the “best of criags”.  i love rereading it.  i’ve read it while in a relationship, during the drudges of breakups, and happily single.  and every time, i find something newer and funnier to identify with!

i am the man version of this chick.

hi suzy.  my first question is, how the hell does one move in new york city?  do you rent a car?  pay off a cabbie to let you take multiple trips?  borrow friends?  i guess ny-ers like you probably don’t have much “stuff” but i can’t imagine even lots of suitcases are any ease to move.    and you’re doing it as we speak eh.   i’m in “opposable thumbs”  a favorite cafe of mine tat i don’t frequent enough – it’s the cafe that has a poster of my great-great uncle the magician ALEXANDER (my namesake) up on the wall.  i tell them about it, but the don’t seem interested ever.  maybe i will give them a resume and write a note about that on it.  

speaking of.  i just completed making ANOTHER resume, this time one that reflects my experience in the LGBT community and other non profit volunteer and related things.  there is a position im interested within the organization i already volunteer with.   but like you said, would be funny if you quit your NY office life and i start up in portland non profit world.  would be great though.  then i can get you a job too sometime.  or soon we start our own organization.

otherwise, im surely peddling the street now.  i’ve exhausted nearly every portland health,nonprof,media,communications,etc companies for work.  of course i continue to check back as often as possible.  i’ve stalked health food store managers.  i’ve created endless types of resumes that made me look like i’ve spend the last decade doing about 4 or 5 different careers.  this is the job hunt.  and there ARE jobs, believe it.  just VERY MANY seekers, making it very competitive.  but i’m here, and i’m on it, and i’m not pist or discouraged, just trugging through it day after day.  and every day, there is only so much you can do, only so many resumes to send, and i go home and sip wine and read and tv and feel ok about my life.   

so that’s that for today. and its 4 on friday and i’m calling it quits soon.  or back into the GRE test studying.  and i don’t want to get in much detail about that. not now, not ever.  i’m taking the GRE’s and i am applying to a masters program at portland state.  thats all there is to know.  you’ll hear about it again next spring if indeed i get accepted and am still interested in the program.

SO, all those extra hits to our site, i conclude come from our website being the source of an image of a map of the US that if you google “map of the united states”, the second image to appear is sourced to a page of ours form about a year ago.  so be it.  what a way to get famous.  where’s our blog-book deal?  meh.

happy halloween weekend and shit.  somehow it’s in there with my new years “what does the true hipster” do on this holiday.  again, a great an excuse to get drunk, which i never need an excuse to do.  all the jokes about naked drunk girls are true.  rather, slutty dressed.   and it’s my first in portland and i have so few friends that my options for going out are close to none.  i could get into my cowboy gear and hit up a bar.  maybe a gay one.  or i could hand out candy to my neighbors and do a photo essay.  kids in costumes always a good sell.  then again, these days i might get pinned for the neighborhood pervert.  ”can i grab a quick shot of your daughter there”.. huh huh huh.

the neighborhood pedophile who hands out tofu treats.  what a world.  

love love to all.

I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what’s underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty’s and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I’m the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I’ll pull that garment
from its hanger like I’m choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I’ll wear it like bones, like skin,
it’ll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in.

- Kim Addonizio

can you tell i 1) have my first day off in a long long time and
2) am trying to avoid packkkkkking ugh
3) photo taken a while ago on a hot hot day in bushwick, by autumn sonnichsen, a fun fav girl who is living in brazil, making a living shooting girlies in their skivies. i should really go visit.
4) pichfork’s new music playlist is serving me well today, locked in my apt whether i pack or not…