happy halloween texts from last night (a)
(740): the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
(914): I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
(703): I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
(860): I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
(407): i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
(321): Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It’s going to be a good day.
(410): i can’t wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
(630): i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
(858): I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
(570): so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn’t even go to a halloween party.
(425): Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Looking for a lazy, semi-LTR (oldie but goodie from Alexander)
i am just glad to see that this comical personal ad is still around on the “best of criags”. i love rereading it. i’ve read it while in a relationship, during the drudges of breakups, and happily single. and every time, i find something newer and funnier to identify with!
i am the man version of this chick.
moving in NY/extra andwelove hits/portland job scene/halloween fr:Alexander
hi suzy. my first question is, how the hell does one move in new york city? do you rent a car? pay off a cabbie to let you take multiple trips? borrow friends? i guess ny-ers like you probably don’t have much “stuff” but i can’t imagine even lots of suitcases are any ease to move. and you’re doing it as we speak eh. i’m in “opposable thumbs” a favorite cafe of mine tat i don’t frequent enough – it’s the cafe that has a poster of my great-great uncle the magician ALEXANDER (my namesake) up on the wall. i tell them about it, but the don’t seem interested ever. maybe i will give them a resume and write a note about that on it.
speaking of. i just completed making ANOTHER resume, this time one that reflects my experience in the LGBT community and other non profit volunteer and related things. there is a position im interested within the organization i already volunteer with. but like you said, would be funny if you quit your NY office life and i start up in portland non profit world. would be great though. then i can get you a job too sometime. or soon we start our own organization.
otherwise, im surely peddling the street now. i’ve exhausted nearly every portland health,nonprof,media,communications,etc companies for work. of course i continue to check back as often as possible. i’ve stalked health food store managers. i’ve created endless types of resumes that made me look like i’ve spend the last decade doing about 4 or 5 different careers. this is the job hunt. and there ARE jobs, believe it. just VERY MANY seekers, making it very competitive. but i’m here, and i’m on it, and i’m not pist or discouraged, just trugging through it day after day. and every day, there is only so much you can do, only so many resumes to send, and i go home and sip wine and read and tv and feel ok about my life.
so that’s that for today. and its 4 on friday and i’m calling it quits soon. or back into the GRE test studying. and i don’t want to get in much detail about that. not now, not ever. i’m taking the GRE’s and i am applying to a masters program at portland state. thats all there is to know. you’ll hear about it again next spring if indeed i get accepted and am still interested in the program.
SO, all those extra hits to our site, i conclude come from our website being the source of an image of a map of the US that if you google “map of the united states”, the second image to appear is sourced to a page of ours form about a year ago. so be it. what a way to get famous. where’s our blog-book deal? meh.
happy halloween weekend and shit. somehow it’s in there with my new years “what does the true hipster” do on this holiday. again, a great an excuse to get drunk, which i never need an excuse to do. all the jokes about naked drunk girls are true. rather, slutty dressed. and it’s my first in portland and i have so few friends that my options for going out are close to none. i could get into my cowboy gear and hit up a bar. maybe a gay one. or i could hand out candy to my neighbors and do a photo essay. kids in costumes always a good sell. then again, these days i might get pinned for the neighborhood pervert. ”can i grab a quick shot of your daughter there”.. huh huh huh.
the neighborhood pedophile who hands out tofu treats. what a world.
love love to all.
wear it until someone tears it off me (suzyla)
I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what’s underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty’s and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I’m the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I’ll pull that garment
from its hanger like I’m choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I’ll wear it like bones, like skin,
it’ll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in.
- Kim Addonizio
can you tell i 1) have my first day off in a long long time and
2) am trying to avoid packkkkkking ugh
3) photo taken a while ago on a hot hot day in bushwick, by autumn sonnichsen, a fun fav girl who is living in brazil, making a living shooting girlies in their skivies. i should really go visit.
4) pichfork’s new music playlist is serving me well today, locked in my apt whether i pack or not…
buttered cat (suzy thought alex would like this)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_cat_paradox
The buttered cat paradox is a joke paradox based on the tongue-in-cheek combination of two adages: Cats always land on their feet. Buttered toast always lands buttered side down.
The paradox arises when one considers what would happen if one attached a piece of buttered toast (butter side up) to the back of a cat, then dropped the cat from a large height.
beating records (by s)
and yesterday over 400 people on the blog.
weird.
cant be just porn ; )
maybe we are a worldwide trend. i will dip back into my religious studies; people f’ing LOVE the hare krishna page. and more world maps alex!!
ek alex i love you and i do love that this is a real thing that we really do. i should write more and better. my life needs more focus. i am moving in two days. these are my last few days in the small apt i have lived in since moving to ny three years ago. i hope a ton of changes happen in the new place. yoga everyday! cooking in the big nice marble kitchen! sitting on the roof deck to read and meditate. writing better things that are more introspective and also matter more to the world at large. xoxoxoxoox
going to PACKKKKK my least fav thing in the world to do.
to the 400 people who i am sure are intently reading this: i completely love you! live this day fully.
Share Our Wealth…. (suzy)
Wiki: “Share Our Wealth was a movement begun during the Great Depression by Huey Long, a governor and later United States Senator from Louisiana.
The key planks of the Share Our Wealth platform included:
1. No person would be allowed to accumulate a personal net worth of more than 100 to 300 times the average family fortune, which would limit personal assets to between $1.5 million and $5 million. Income taxes would be levied to ensure this. Annual capital levy taxes would be assessed on all persons with a net worth exceeding $1 million.
2. Every family was to be furnished with a homestead allowance of not less than one-third the average family wealth of the country. Every family was to be guaranteed an annual family income of at least $2,000 to $2,500, or not less than one-third of the average annual family income in the United States. Yearly income, however, cannot exceed more than 100 to 300 times the size of the average family income.
3. An old-age pension would be made available for all persons over 60.
4. To balance agricultural production, the government will preserve/store surplus. This is made so no food is wasted.
5. Veterans are paid what they are owed
6. Education and training for all children to be equal in opportunity in all schools, colleges, universities, and other institutions for training in the professions and vocations of life.
7. The raising of revenue and taxes for the support of this program was to come from the reduction of swollen fortunes from the top, as well as for the support of public works to give employment whenever there may be any slackening necessary in private enterprise.
records (A)
248 visitors to AND WE LOVE yesterday… wonder what all the fuss is about? you like us, you really like us?
NORTHWEST HUMP! 2009! yes yes yes (porn seen by alex)
OH SUZY! You would have loved what I got to do last weekend… after 5 years success in Seattle, Portland finally got to screen HUMP – an amateur porn festival! It was funny, sexy, scary, hot, sad, and cute, and hard core alllll rolled into one. The films must be under 5 minutes. It was hosted by Dan Savage – the writer and columnist made famous for his SAVAGE LOVE column in all the weeklies around the country. I remember reading Savage in the Philly Weekly as soon as I moved to the city in 2000. LOVE IT! Even after years in LA, this will still stay high on my celebrity-meeting list.
If you want DETAILS you can read each of the films descriptions on the Portland Murcury’s site.
Here’s how HUMP! works: Every year we invite local filmmakers from all over the Northwest to make five-minute-long homemade porn movies. The filmmakers choose the actors and write the scripts. There’s a “no kids, no animals, no poop” rule, but beyond that the films can be just as filthy, vanilla, funny, or serious as the filmmakers like. We pick the best submissions, screen the festival, and after the final screenings we destroy our only copies of the films. HUMP! is the amateur porn festival that lets you be a porn star for the weekend and not the rest of your life! And the best part? There are two $2,000 grand prizes: one for “sexiest” film and one for “funniest.” And you (the HUMP! audience member) decide who wins!
YOU SHOULD BE SURE TO be here next year for it, Suzy and friends.. it sold out! It was great fun!
hahaha. “no kids, no animals, no poop”
DAN SAVAGE and MYSELF. :)
TOMATOES AND BOYS (things Alexander likes)
S – Thank you for all the inspiring words and posts. I pulled my Allen Ginsberg collection off the shelf to reread HOWL since it’s about to be made into a movie with the lovely James Franco (believe me, i’ll write about it when previews appear – or sooner).
You know where we should visit sometime… this town in spain that has an annyal tomato throwing festival… SEXY!! you could model in it. and I, well… I’d find *things* to do. SEE PICS!
La Tomatina is an annual festival held at the end of August in the town of Buñol in the Valencia region in Spain. About 30,000 people come to this town of about 9,000 people to throw more than 100 tons of tomatoes at each other to create some seriously sexy carnage. Nobody is quite clear on why this tradition started, but the opportunity to pummel thousands of half-naked guys with delicious tomato pulp is our best guess. Or maybe it’s just an excuse for a group bath in the Buñol River afterwords. Whatever the reason, Ignacio Lozano found himself there for this year’s battle and and sent us a few pics to share with you.
again, i would go to more dinner parties if these were the guests— Rilke is a love. (from suzy)
LIFE CAN’T STOP FLOWERING
“Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of
colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the
night.” – Rainer Maria Rilke
its cheesy i love quotes i know. but it gets me through the office day from helllllllllll sometimes.
yum walton ford has a new taschen book, Pancha Tantra (by s)
LOVE this artist
he has a new Taschen book coming out::
Beautiful Beasts: With Murderous Intent
Walton Ford thinks you’re an animal
the_forsaken_1999 walton ford
At first glance, Walton Ford’s large-scale, highly-detailed watercolors of animals may recall the prints of 19th century illustrators John James Audubon and Edward Lear, and others of the colonial era. But a closer look reveals a complex and disturbingly anthropomorphic universe, full of symbols, sly jokes, and allusions to the ‘operatic’ nature of traditional natural history themes. The beasts and birds populating this contemporary artist’s life-size paintings are never mere objects, but dynamic actors in allegorical struggles: a wild turkey crushes a small parrot in its claw; a troupe of monkeys wreak havoc on a formal dinner table, an American buffalo is surrounded by bloodied white wolves. The book’s title derives from The Pancha Tantra, an ancient Indian book of animal tales considered the precursor to Aesop’s Fables.
suzy in nyc/ apt hunting and busy with work and personal life BS as usual. but, heres this! <3
“life will break you.
nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearnings.
you have to love.
you have to feel.
it is the reason you are here on earth.
you are here to risk your heart.
you are here to be swallowed up.
and when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt,
or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree
and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.
tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could.”
– louise erdrich, the painted drum, p. 247
more portlandness (didn’t have a camera) -A
i’m sitting at the cafe and a customer just ordered he and his friend 2 french press teas. he proceeded to carry the 2 single press containers and 2 empty mugs over to his table ON HIS SKATEBOARD. see the image? TWO FRENCH PRESS CONTAINERS ON HIS SKATEBOARD!
ah, portland craigs list. too bad i can’t draw or tattoo. (A)
Need Alien to give feaux tatoos @ kids party (Inner Ne)
503-997-4369
Free Haircut! Free Beer ! Free Pizza!
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