Dearest Suzanne… I had a dream. By Alexander

I had a dream last night, in my brief couple of hours of rest before leaving for the airport.  It was about you and me and we owned a small store.  Like a gift shop, cafe.  I can’t remember what we called it, I remember it was a dumb name and I wanted it to be AND WE LOVE.  duh.  We sold high end foodie items like capers from spain and really nice garlic crushing products, etc.  It was so cute and so were you, I think we were somewhere in central California.  Then OF COURSE, part of the dream is me MISSING MY FLIGHT TO PORTLAND and having to deal with rescheduling.  The Southwest girl, who somehow was face-to-face with me, seemed to bribe me for getting on a booked flight if I gave her some of the nice cheeses and such from our shop.  Then I had to pee, I woke to pee, I peed and it was still dark out.  And it was already fucking 5:17 and time to get moving.  I didn’t get to finish the dream.  

So, the Sacramento airport is the only one I’ve experienced with free Wi-Fi.  Every other place has made deals with TMobile or such and charges you.  This is not good though, because I would be reading right now and am instead on fucking line, like I don’t have enough of that in my life.  

Lastly, can I just make a complaint.  Are people really mostly stupid?!  I mean, am I that much more intelligent than your average person.  I’m listening to a girl go on and on complaining that she doesn’t check bags and so it bugs her she has to buy her favorite face wash time and again when she travels.  Apparently the first thing she does when she lands in a new city is rush to CVS for her favorite face wash.  That damn 3oz rule, man!    Hold up girl, don’t they make EMPTY 3 oz containers?  I mean, I’m truly sure they do.  And can’t you or maybe have a friend help you pour some of that blessed face wash through, maybe a funnel?  I feel like I should say something to her so she stops wasting her money.   I’ll keep my mouth shut though, I don’t even wash my face when I’m traveling. 

Flight 2208, service to Portland now boarding.

rain, wine, butters, air travel, and gloves. by.alexander

Suzy.  I haven’t heard back from you.  My car (I always say that when I mean cab when I book the day before to go to an airport – it sounds SO ny!) is picking me up at 6AM, are you going to be ready and here?  

It is POURING in Los Angeles tonight.  How appropriate, right, as I venture to my beloved new Portland tomorrow morning.  I am so packed with all the right apparel I just don’t get a chance to use in Southern California.  (After so many “winter years”, it really feels still so weird to complain about constant warmth.)

I am finishing some wine.  I never sleep well when I have to be up so early for a flight.  Maybe because I’ve missed a few.  The cab comes before six.  The airport is close and I don’t check bags and I’m reading the paper and then I am in Portland at 10!  I just realized I’d save the last swig of wine in the bottle on my desk, it is pretty worth it to chug it down before walking out the door to the airport on such an early morning.  That’s about all I could stomach at that hour anyway.  Someone was mentioning the annoyance of getting up at 5 am (3 hours from now) and I said, well, I sleep A LOT.  And it is true and that is how I think about these nights.  I won’t sleep much tonight.  And now comes Holidays with friends.  So.  But, I remind myself the endless nights of 10-12 hours that have gone on in the past month.  It all evens out I’m sure of it.

Like I said.  It’s a beautiful downpour at 1:something in LA.  I have my windows open and am cold, but I want to hear it.  What a beautiful sound it is.  Butters (that’s my cat) is warm on the bed with me, and he is always peculiar when I’m packing up.  I suppose in the 2 years since adopting this crazy kitten, I have packed my bags and disappeared many times and sometimes for quite some time.  (Don’t worry, 2 great roomies take over.)  But still I think he misses his crazy dad and my crazy at-home-all-day antics.   I hug him a lot tonight, but he knows what’s up.  

So I saw Milk.  MILK MILK MILK.   Everyone: SEE MILK.  It is such a part of modern American History that will NEVER be taught in schools or churches or the mid-west.  It is SUCH an important story and I have nothing but tears for getting to know it and have some slight part in it.  (I’m gay, I live in CA, the whole prop 8 thing, I worked at a bar named for the man who was killed for his progressive, gay and civil ways.)   But without ANY of that connection, I still want this movie to be seen.  Tell everyone you know.  Especially your family, New Jersey, white people, straight people, old people.   And then, lets not forget it is Gus Van.  It is Sean Penn.  It is fucking hot James Franco.  And there is butt.  So, if I haven’t sold you yet.  Just go.  

Oh, and speaking of Gus (he comes from Portland), but really speaking of Portland.  My friend there says “bring gloves”.  GLOVES.?!??  I know rain and cold and dark, but GLOVES?  I guess it isn’t California, Toto.  I was totally prepared with the scarves and hats and excited to dust that stuff off in my Southern Hot California closet.  But I had to dig for the gloves.  I found them.   Do you know about my gloves, Suzy?  That I have a special pair for me, with the right hand missing 2 fingers.  (EVERYONE: ALEXANDER ONLY HAS 3 FINGERS ON ONE HAND FROM BIRTH, YA GANNA STOP READING MY BLOG NOW?)   And so, mostly as a kid (in Wyoming and PA) I wore mittens.  But later, we (mom) realized I could be having a grandma type family folk make me something to wear.  I’ve been through a few pairs back in PA because, well, isn’t loosing gloves what people do in the winter.  Can you imagine that a handful of folks have found gloves on a street, or taxi or coffee shop in various cities and states and had to contemplate the 3-fingered one.   Currently I sport a pair from the gap.  About 5 years old (since for 5 years I’ve been west and warm.) and still great.  I hope I don’t drop these gloves in Portland.  It would be nice to keep them around.  I don’t know anyone who could make me specialized gloves anymore.   (Oh, and once, on a catering gig in SF I was unexpectedly handed black server gloves to wear on the floor.  Ew those days might be back soon.  And it was a shocking experience.  I had to ask a fellow server if he thought I should tuck the unused floppy fingers into the glove, or just let them dangle where I should have fingers.   HAHA)  

 

Peace to you tonight.  Happy Eat Food Day and see you all on the other side.

(This isn’t a peace sign, it’s my hand.)

milk me and portland and san fran and tears, by alexander

SUZY!  You should be my assistant right now.  No, more like sidekick.  Just come to LA today! Can you come today…??  it’s warm but brisk and just beautiful.  Then you could come see MILK with me tonight and then to Portland tomorrow.  Let me cook you up a veggie Thanksgiving storm, then we get drunk through the weekend then head on Monday morning to San Francisco and we’ll just continue our job and life search from the cafe’s there instead of here.   Come come come come.   

I love your post. I love letting the sober people worry bout the rest.

So, anyway, HI!   HI hi !  

I’m sitting this cloudyish day again in LA and all is superb.  Isn’t it always, really.  The nature of ourselves is that in any moment all is superb.   What else could it be?

Also superb is being part of the Hollywood business, even if from the outskirts of actually having a job.  Tonight I get to attend the Producer’s Guild showing of Milk.  I’ve posted the preview time and again but click and watch it again, it brings me to tears.  YAY FOR NORI!!!       It’s just that I do know what to expect from it and it is going to be brilliant and it is just so meaningful to me on so many ways.  San Francisco in its day, the Castro where I worked at a bar named for Harvey Milk, Harvey Milk is assassinated, civil rights, today’s prop 8 hoopla, how far have we come?, Gus Van Sant, Sean Penn, the strengths of the gay community, the weakness of humankind, and the clothes they wore in 1975!   I can. not. wait. for. this. film.!   And then I probably get to see it again in SF next week.

YES THATS RIGHT EVERYONE, I’m again trekking to the Burbank Airport to get on a plane to anywhere.  Like I’ve said, “Los Angeles is just the perfect place to leave”.   Tomorrow to Portland.  YAY for my first “Holiday” with friends as my family.  No offense to the blood ones.  But I get to share the silliness of Turkey with NO turkey but with great food and old friends and new friends and a new wonderful town.  And its Portland in November, so I get to put on hats and scarves and such.  Brilliant!

A stop in SF and then back to…. whatever this is I’m doing here.

lovely.

“Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded. Someone sober will worry about events going badly. Let the lover be.”- rumi

ahh its for you and me alex. and all and all.

arent those just the best words?

a note i found. by alexander, but really by suzy

hi suzy.  i know i am up to very little these days.  BUT i just happened into my room and i glanced at ye ol’ journal collection. i figured i’d open one and see what’s up, well inSIDE the journal was a handwritten note from you…… may i? :

 

“alex: i love how we met (in my mind). i love that we met… i love that you and i exist. Coexist! Love!  what can i say to you that i haven’t …  you are such a moment – liver.  you are living through polaroid snap shots while most of us are stuck with a VHS recording at a poor angle.   I will visit you out west – you are a part of me and I enjoy your company immensely .”

what.an.awesome.fucking.letter.i.love.you.     xxxx

party party party with alexander

Hi Suzy, pals… New York, Europe…  

I am here. In LA and embarrassingly unemployed, that would be why you don’t hear from me.  No it’s not depression or anxiety, just a plain ego trip.  I feel I have nothing exciting to say, so, I say nothing.  

However, I can manage to throw parties for the locals.  So, join me tonight for wine and cheese and a really good mix I just made on iTunes because I am so, so, unemployed.

(Then, again, I’m surely not alone.)

thought for the wkend, with love, suzy

oh ah fridays in grand old brooklyn!

alex where art thou?

i wish you were my wedding date to the thing i am going to next week. well,  thats mean to ryan- i am happy hes coming w me! ok– i wish you and ryan could both be my wedding date to the wedding i am going to next week.

so my friend juli who i dont think youve met but i think you would like a lot, is getting married to her lovely casey, who is great and adored by our entire group of girl friends. they are doing it the day after thanksgiving. and they arent hyper-political, but they are involved, and i think that is the best thing! bc its Black Friday! and that means the 200 or whateversome people who are at the wedding WONT BE OUT SHOPPING.

though– i dont think as many people are going to be out shopping as in years past.

all the economy talk is scary. i wish i had the skills to just up and move to india or a place that its like you dont get used to living w insanely unnessecary luxreries anyway.

i have an extra room in my apt and im doing tons of photoshoots here this weekend. whew. fun.

with that said, i need to light some candles or something, bc someone is coming over to look at the place in a moment: )

alex let me know your holiday tour schedule please. i have massive time off work and am thinking of running off to iceland or some such. but if you will be in PA for tons of time, i dont want to miss you… maybe we can both go somewhere warm together? wouldnt that be great, if we could convince our families that it would be way more fun to not spend money on gifts, but instead take the whole family somewhere temperate! and if like 9 our of friends families did the same! thats either fun or a bad movie. actually. im not sure. but.. let me know  anyway.

<3

“”It’s not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on.” Marilyn Monroe

v. strange wonderous montaged images from a great artist who i like so so much.

is this safe here? alex, let me know if you dont want boobs here ans i will put elsewhere.

lovelove <3

nyc is cold and flameless

alex- those pictures are beautiful, although whats going on there is very frightening.

did anyone you know have to leave?

can you imagine how easy the world would be if that was how god worked: people doing bad things= fire.

but no, instead its a complex system of nature and elements. and randomness. and a sprinkle of karma here and there. (but i am not saying anyone derserves fires; fires in CA are completely nature. and random.)

i saw david abts as you know in dc and it was a grand time! he is such a great host, and has a sweet and lovely ladyfriend, and he magically brought me to a party where spin the bottle was played! weee!

and he gave me the worst hangover ive had this fiscal year. but, i wont get into that. ; )

i am thinking dc *mighhhhht be my next move. nyc = depressed about the markets. getting more expensive. horrible in the winter. dc= excited about a new adminstration. clean and new to me. too new to me for me to hate its weather patterns yet…

i am working in my office tuesdays-thursdays now, and i slept too much and too long today, and now i get to do my favorite thing of staying up way way into the night. i love it! and to fuel this hobby of mine, i will be drinking another drink which can be added to the ‘dangerous drinks’ list: Red Bull COLA. yes, thats right.

lets see how this goes.

fire – by alexander

I know it’s national.  I know you New Yorkers stay abreast with the major happenings in the world.  But right now, not only is California in endless protest against the Mormon Church and their involvement in politics, but now God, or someone, has struck fire to all of southern California. 

 

It’ gross.  The air smells.  And the news tells people not to exercise outdoors.  WHAT?

WATCH how fast I move to

if this shit keeps up.

 

THANKS!

thanks for the laughter alex. now to talk about beautiful things and then some dangerous things

that made me laugh lots.

first off, why i like ryan lavender: http://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/Special:ContributionHistory/en

(if this gets added to really fast, his name will be gone, so search for Ryan Lavender on
23:16, 13 November 2008)   :  )

aw <3

and,,,, maybe everyone should consider donating to wikipedia. we all love the fuck out of it, dont we?

raining in nyc. i was supposed to pose for an illustrator tonight but he cancelled bc of deadlines and more important obligations, which was totally fine w me, so now i get to hibernate on this raining evening and PLOW through work. that means: scheduling doctors appointments, applying for some freelance, telecommuniting and nonprofity part time work in the dc-sih area to test the waters of how the economy is really doing, and also scheduling world-wide modeling tours! (currently on my plate- dc this weekend, philly in a few weekends, phoenix with plane fare and lodging paid for YES in jan, portland in jan [but dont worry alex, that isnt set. and i will come back and see you even if it does happen and you are not yet there.].

and now for my alert of things that are dangerous to the general wellbeing of the nation. its not george bush anymore! for the first time in 8 years. whew! it is…

wine from this wonderful little vineyard near my hometown in nj. it is called Tomasello Winery, and they make fruit wines. it is very very little alcohol, but… still. i drank an entire bottle of Pomegranate wine in like 20 mins by myself bc its so good and tastes like fruit juice. and then i was midly not on purpose tipsy for a little while. they also have blueberry wine which is amazing, apple spiced wine, and raspberry. and some others im sure.

maybe i will send some over to you for xmas, that holiday i love to forget happens each and every yr, alex love. so you can sip nj blueberries in la-land.