little bit of life… …

later i think i will stick in some things i read in the new york times.

(sunday was blissful… a big brunch with dennis and his sister and her boyfriend and then LOUNGING all day reading the times… that always reminds me of you, alex. basking in the news. style arts politics on a sunday. ahhh)

yesterday i went to work on a shoot that a photographer from hungry who was inspired by jeff walls, who was actually written about in a huge article in that aftersaid newspaper this weekend. he makes these big staged photos. they are very cool. he says ‘why does photography have to be shot in the moment? paintings can be anything from portraits to fantasty things… why cant photographs?’ so he hires all these people and recreates sets and its like a movie… but its just one shot. just a still…

and thats what i was going to work in yesterday. a scene of ‘young professionals’ at a cigar bar. sitting around after work. drinking wine. smoking cigars. but a man and woman are naked… and no one is acting like its anything. i wasnt going to be naked, but i thought it was exciting to do a big stage shoot in a public place nonetheless. it was called off at the last second by some manager (of course there are like 10 managers and 9 ok;d this… and the 1 who didnt shows up right then…). but we are going to try to reshoot next week.

what else… i dont know. want to see a crazy new one????

j. galles sent me such a great quote

“Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an
infinite nothing which is something… wearing stripes with plaid is easy.”-Albert
Einstein

dear alex and world

my internet connection is being schrewy. i cant spell that. oo well!

screwy.
ahh,.

ok.. io am currently in a coffee shop on 6th ave at 9 AM – 9 in the morning!- bc i had to check the location for my shoot today. i guesssss thats not that early. but i was like ‘will they even be open?’ and i get here and there is already a herd of park slopers with their laptops.

and me = +1.

alex, look at the search engine searches for the blog for yesterday. its funny.
love you. will write more sometime soon.

“dear suzy, love alexander::::”

. . . . . . …. ……..hello.

no, i have been absent in my writing for 2 reasons
1. just last week, at very short notice, i was asked at work to take over for a person leaving on short notice. i now no longer work in the production office as an office assistant all day, but rather on the stage (“set”) all day. long days. production assistant on set. what fun, and oh i enjoy. but means: trapped to stage 5 at warner bros., must always carry vibrating phone, must aleays be available, no sitting in myspace/andwelove/email/IMing land./// but still, down time and reading the new york times and national geographic. mainly, no computer.

and THANK GOD FOR THAT, actually. i hate this white plastic. i enjoy my real newspaper and catching up onlint just once a day, if that. TRY IT

and 2. this peice of whaite plastic. a wonderful apple iBook, reaching 2.5 years old – old for anything modern technology – has a retarded question mark and forward slash button and it jams, a lot, even if im just hitting keys near by it, and so if i go near the / then it ends up getting stuck and going ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// until i do something drastic to stop, like bang hard on another key.//

also the slashes just appear anytime they want/ and it comes/out sounding like im trying to write some strange newfound//// poetry. wait//arent?////i???

JILL AND ME HAD A WONDERFUL TIME love her. we did exactly as planned. enjoyed, enjoyed enjoyed…/ all things. the big house, the hot tub, 120 bucks on sushi one night. what. and each other. and the beach. and spending all day together on my set and jane lynch was guest starring (look her up, tall actress from all christopher guest movies. a funny lady) and so me and jill were a riot with her presence.

today i drove wanda sykes’ car.

ok, in a screwy way i am famous-obcessive.

“those hollywood stars”

**** right now i sit on riany eve at big dinning table with candles and music and one dog at feet, one car on notebook with one paw on comupter. and one tail, almost in candle.

THINGS IM FEELING TODAY:::://lately:

happy
coming out of constraint
constraint
who gives a fuck about anna nicole dumbass
tired and relaxed
excited for yoga
happy for the weekend, the farmers market, being me me me
single and sad
i miss christopher and our phone calls
im enjoying new people already, windows close
doors.. enjoy

ah — only in nyc…

” $5 before 3AM, $10 after “

this strikes me as… something that does not happen everywhere, after spending 3 days in somewhat ‘rural’ new jersey.. where things are all over by 8 pm. really! well.. there is that biker-bar thats open till 230 am, but you have to deal with red neck motorcycle riders. i would soo much rather watch jepordy with my parents and do to sleep early.

it takes three wheels to make a vehicle called a tricycle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iyO-18rvWg

cute cute uTube skate video

just sending a little note to lalaland

hi jill! you are so lucky to be in california right now.

are you thawing out yet?

love to you both. miss you and our times together morethanyouknow

where and when. how and how much.

ohh your post got me thinking !!
first off,,, why why why am i scared of commitment and why didnt i come out to there to see you w jill? why cant i just PLAN AHEAD for once?

anyw ay it also made me think of where i would like to live and when..
when i moved to ny, i kept saying i hoped it was like paris in the 1870s! paris commune!! art! burning! poets! freethinkers! (i knew it wasnt really going to happen, but i was still hopeful. still am hopefull that maybe i will wake up to a huge protest outside my window, grab a camera and the biggest piece of paper i can find to write ‘the rich get more swimming pools while children everywhere are startving!’ and run to be a part of the hollaring that stones being thrown at limos…. but besides that small dream…

ahh how about your loved place of residence in the 1960s, 70s. must have been THE BEST.
berlin, in the 1980s . riots. ideology being discussed, ironed out.
new york city in the 40s, 50s. speakeasys, jazz. secrets. cool clothes- dress, hats, feathers
: )

what else… ok, France from 1789–1799, Russia, 1917 and China! 1927-1949.
1989: the bloodless Velvet Revolution overthrows the communist state in Czechoslovakia; that would have been cool to experience.
as would have 1994: Zapatista Rebellion: Uprising in the Mexican state of Chiapas demanding equal rights for indigenous peoples and in opposition to growing neoliberalism in North America.

love it. you know what i was thinking last night?..

i was thinking about the world, politics. do you know what year “9-11″ happened? 2001! 2001!!!! thats 6 years ago. we remembered it one year later LIVING in london. that was FIVE years ago. so point is, 9-11, is still this big mess. no rebuilding in ny, still at unknown amount of wars all over the middle east and elsewhere, still talking about terror alerts and all this CRAP CRAP. and its so long ago, its over. i know this sound unsensitive, its not about all those that had a loss, its about all of our leaders lingering, lingering on this and ABUSING it as some excuse for a free-for-all-i-do-what-i-want style of leadership.

fuck.

i saw FACTORY GIRL last night. pretty good, makes me think great things about the people and time. ny in the 60’s. i think, i always fantasize about san francisco, hollywood at that time. perhaps a decade each. what would you say would have been best. hollywood in the 50s. nyc in the 60s and sf in the 70s. whatever i can get the most partying out of. i wanna be fucked up with andy warhol and bob dylan and hanging in the factory and hollywood hills and allover everything. . .

DAY FOR NIGHT was just delivered from netflix. will watch, maybe this evening.

JILL SATURDAY. wanna know my plans?
farmers market sat am. then to lax to get jill.
show her my place and kitty and neighborhood for lunch. then head to my boss’ house in sherman oaks/beverly hills where i am house sitting. get some friends, make a great diner, drink wine in the jacuzzi, spend sunday lounging. bloody marys. head to venice beach for people watching and french fries.

oh what a weekend.

and there is monday to do anything.
and tuesday jill gets to hang out “on set” with me all day, oh- doesn’t ON SET sound so lavish. love.

you know… i thought of this in bed last night…

when you wrote a tribute to bob marley on his birthday… i REALLY shouldve mentioned that at least once a day, honestly i think, i say to myself ‘every little thing is gonna be alright.’

bob marley has helped me to ‘dont worry, about a thing… bc everything little thing, is gonna be alright. alright.”

and i had to say  T H A N K S

if i have any mantra, that is it.

happy valentines day

i hope you get your fill of hallmark crap.

NO, i dont.

I HOPE YOU ALL KNOW YOU ARE LOVED!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

and have a look at this link if you want all of your valentines day gifts just ruined for you. or to know the real story behind them. or to feel better if your bf forgot! http://democracynow.org/ 

and furthermore- answers for alexander

how the heck do i write 900 words and not answer ANY of the simple things you spoke about in your post?
ha/ self sentered suzy
is analyzing her answers for alex

1)i loveeee santa barbara. and wine tastings. and drunk wine people. i love your life. 3) yes post pictures! please! i love yours! 4)yes! postsecret! http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

5)thanks for buying dennis’ book! i hope you think hes as funny and cute as i do.
actually i could care less if you think hes cute. but he IS.
13) chris cook! yes! stay w him man! have a little affair w him. (does he read this? we can take that down immed. if he does!)
or, yes, i LOVE hostels. or we can stay w jesse and my friend carson used to live there and has people we can crash with, i know his one friend is a posh law school guy, prob has a very big nice flat. eugene my rm is from london, and his gf was just here on holiday, we can stay w her… what about jon? but those are all here and there. is none work, i heart hosteling so so much. oh, what about metrograte? i thought leah/dylan liked that one?

ok ok. i love you i love you. i bought the soy latte for $4.50 and realised how funny my $10 a week on food plan is for ny. but that made me want to do it more. i am NOT a yuppie! (even though i live in park slope.) i should be paying 50 cents for coffee!

all this shite always reminds me of some of my fav bob dylan lyrics from the basement tapes: I’m goin’ down to Tennessee,
Get me a truck ‘r somethin’.
Gonna save my money and rip it up!
Lo and behold! Lo and behold!
Lookin’ for my lo and behold,
Get me outa here, my dear man!

so yeah, it always feels like im just saving my money. to then rip it up : )

tuesday in new york

so alex, i wonder if you picture me just hanging out, like painting my toenails and watching soap operas bc i quit my job??? (actually, i hope you would never ever picture that for me. no tv for me, really, but i mean def! no! soap! operas!)

its so the opposite. thats the one good thing about a steady job. its steady.you know what you are doing each day.

but my days are all up in the air right now.
i wake up, email for a long time, setting up appointments.
then, coffee.
then, figuring out how to get dresses in a way that can work for all the various things im doing today…

then, im off!
casting call at 10.
meet someone who is interested in painting me at 12. two hours, sounds easy, buts its wayy on the other side of town. different boroughs.
meet someone about a video project, 2.
lug my laptop around and try to work on a grant application at coffee shops before meetings.
BUY STUFF FOR DENNIS FOR VALENTINES DAY! but not so much stuff that i have a bunch of bags at these meetings…
have a for real job interview at 4.
have a go-see with another artist at 7.
and maybe another at 815ish.

ahhhh.
then… finalize stuff for valentines day. its predicted by the weather magician forecasters that ny is going to get a big snowstorm on wednesday. im going to dennis’ tonight, and we are hoping we get snowed in tomorrow. and that he doesnt have to do to work. and that we can hang out the entire day.
im going to bring over: red wine, good cheese, good bread, chocolate covered cherries and strawberries that i need to make, ice cream and nuts, honey, and berries to go on top, and last but not least, the ingredients to a bees kiss: BEE’S KISS

1 1/2 ounces light rum
1 teaspoon honey
1 teaspoon heavy cream
3 or 4 ice cubes

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker and shake vigorously. Strain into a cocktail glass.

try it. YUM. we had it at the speakeasy place called ‘little branch’ in the lower east side. its really really good. i kept threatening to make it with soy milk, but some times in life really do merit using heavy cream.

ok! im weighing the options of going to buy the aforementioned soy milk across the st to make coffee with a little bit of very strong coffee and a lot of soy milk, or going out to 7th ave and buying a soy latte…

next week im going to do a weird detox thing where i try to spend just like $10 on food for the week, like rolled oats, flax seeds, brown rice, bananas, apples and kale. and eat just that. it will clean me out and save my bank account all at once.

AND NOW IM OFF TO START MY DAY!
ADVENTURE AWAITS!

i wanna start putting pictures on here. yes.
dont forget how wonderful post secret is. google it.

went to santa barbara, santa ynez yesterday.. wine tasing. met fun drunk wine people. had great food. mmm.

i got dennis’ first book. on half.com. it was 1.98.

christopher cook knows were coming in june. we’ll see him.
were staying in hostels right?

oh good

i think the huge picture just disappeared on its own.

the blog is smarter than i am.

i know citizen cope, like him. a radio station i liked somewhere sometime when i had a car would play one of his (their?) songs all the time. and i liked it, driving to it.

how was your weekend? called you from the bubble of my parents house. did not hear back. now im in ny again.

dennis’ new book on mental disorders came out last week. here is a link to his work on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&search-type=ss&index=books&field-author=Dennis%20DiClaudio&page=1

buy one, for yourself and/or all the mentally deranged you know. (which EQUALS allofus.)