ive got soul but im not a soldier

You don’t have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. -Clive Staples Lewis

ps alex i will write something more real soon. IM SO TIRED!

doing NO things?

is there wrong in still, doing no things, or maybe just fiddling on line – “stumbling” i hear it called and ready and playing and researching other livelyhoods?

meow & i think i like animals better than people

a ways back my roomate (and the owner of out very large handsome crazy dog) said a cat would join the household.. i was stoked and it fell through. so i took myself to the animal shelter yesterday where i could just cry. (i think i like animales better than people). all these cats and kitties all over and crammed in cages. i think they are treated ok, but they just are so limited. i didn’t even look at dogs i would die. i would have LOVED to save a big cat whose already been with a family but lost or abandoned (it’s like the babies don’t even know they have it bad, somehow i feel less sad for them)… but being that the new family member has to tolerate a pony sized dog we figured a baby baby would be best. so this morning i picked up my LITTLE ITY BITTY WITTLE KITTY (can you hear the sound in my voice). he is fluffy and gray and un-named. i tried to bring him to work and security at warner bros said sassily, “you can’t bring no cat in here” (they think this is the white house, who is worth protecting more george bush or brad pitt?).

anyway, kitty is home nestled in the pillows and a little freaked that there is a whole world out of what he knows. a world that included sunlight and treets and plants and dogs and pillows and friends.

my life couldn’t be better.

dear alex

that last post wasnt to you, it was actually about you.

or inspired by you. same thing.

just so we are all on the same PAGE. <3 <3<3 <3<3 <3 <3

new

actually doing things is the new ‘thinking about doing something but staying still.’

just thought id tell you, so you dont miss out on the trend of the century!

stuffing cake in her mouth

dear alex and dear world,
i am so glad alex has begun this- oh alex of beautiful ideas… who else would have created something so perfect to try to get the whole world to know each other and go to a party together?
did you ever hear the song ‘picnic of the world’? you remind me of that. i will post the lyrics one day later.

stuffing cake in her mouth. i just got home from new york city and its 330am and i laughed so hard outloud at that.

arent we all shoving metaphysical cake in our mouth, usually? this blog will be a part of my ongoing, ever present, ever evolving attempt to stop stuffing cake and to say real things instead. things that are important to me and hopefully you, and that have the abilty to one day change things.

please check in later when i am not soo tired at soo late in the night/morning.
please come back to read about how AND WE LOVE.

and begin to start . . .

yeah! suzy, i have started this blog for us. i think my conversations with you are so highly significant, that maybe the world- or someone in it- will enjoy it, learn it, love it, design it, react it, teach it, have it, know it.

our situations are similar. but different. but the structure of life and living. feeling UNDERSTOOD by me suzy is a dream come true.

you know that feeling of falsehood? all day i wonder if i project the falsehood i feel inside. office politics, mundane conversations, novelty moments. inside my life is so much about me: relationship woes, should i get a cat? can i make yoga today?, i wish this guy in the office would stop talking about baseball. pause. phone rings. “production.” “yes, i can transfer you” “you know what rog, she’s stepped away from her desk can i take a message?” if i know/like the person i tell the truth: “you know what, she’s somewhere in the office and stuffing cake in her mouth”

oh and the CAKE. office cake. birthday cake, party cake, “julia won an emmy” cake. everyday another cake, some $100 cakes, the gucci of cake for the film industry folk, other high positioned folks prefer grocery store cake. $12.99 cake. yesterday i felt the clots of white sugar running through my blood. today i’m drinking lots of cranberry juice, for some reason i feel it will balance me. maybe i should just eat salt. or put salt on my cake?

ANYWAY. shit. so suzy, last night i sat a little drunk and stones on my back porch. i was ganna call you. why didn’t i? it would have been late there and i would have left a drunk message and that would have been so atypical. but my mind was racing…. about how much i loved you and felt i didn’t even have to talk to you, thats HOW MUCH i love you.. does that make sense? and so i thought i’d send you an email in the morning. BUT i was sober in the morning and the thoughts were gone. so, alas, the blog… suzy loves, i love. . . . AND WE LOVE.